Power Outage

The Press Conference At The End Of The World may have been the highlight of my acting and writing semi-career. Big crowds, enthusiastic response, actual profit. All the things I worried about proved to be non-things. And To Mars With Tesla won the encore slot at it’s venue, for having the most attendance. It’s really impossible to figure out how I could have had a better Minnesota Fringe Festival than I did.

So why did I take so long to mention this? Well, right after the Fringe, I went on a family vacation to Maine. It was something my parents and my brother had planned for quite a while. So I was unplugged in Maine for about a week. If you haven’t been to Maine, just imagine a trip to northern Minnesota, and swap out all the walleye with lobster. But I jest. The scenery around Acadia National Park is just astounding. If big rocks and waves and forests excite you, and yes seafood, you should hustle your butt over there sometime.

But I tend to be one of those people who needs a vacation from a vacation. I came home and did aggressive amounts of nothing. It was like nothing squared. After the marathons of CONvergence, the Fringe Festival, an upcoming birthday/middle age crisis, and vacationing with small children and elderly parents, the sudden nothingness kind of swamped me. The temp job I had petered out, so I didn’t even have day job drudgery to occupy my mind. It wasn’t the good kind of nothing, like a revitalizing nothing or a peaceful nothing. My power supply was cut. I just shut down.

Anyway, I’m sort of waking up again. If nothing else, there’s this whole thing of employment I need to address. So I’ve been posting resumes, deleting spam about really terrific insurance agent franchising opportunities, and wondering how much longer I can survive on microwave burritos.

I’ll be funny again. I just haven’t been able to summon the energy for a few weeks.

Speaking of funny again, I’ll be a voice actor in Fearless Comedy Productions’ Big Fun Radio Funtime , at the Bryant Lake Bowl September 12th at 10:00 PM with audio sketches by people such as Tim Wick and Courtney McLean. And I’ll be in the Fearless Lab show at Honey on September 10th at 7:00 PM. Thank you, Fearless, for giving me something to do in September.

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A Quickie Before I Nod Off

Someday. Someday this blog will contain fun stuff. Comedy pieces, entertaining photographs, glib reviews of terrible movies no one remembers. I’ve been saying that for a year, and doggone it, I mean it. But not yet, because tired.

Here’s a few highlights, which may or may not explain the lack of interesting material:

I have a temp job that involves building spreadsheets in a sort of assembly line set-up. There’s about a dozen people on the project. Lots of copy and pasting of quote meaningless numbers unquote. I hit ctrl-c and ctrl-v so many times I couldn’t grip anything with my left hand. I’m better now, but it’s left me a little fried and comedy impaired.

I auditioned for Vilification Tennis, and got in! An incredibly hard fought competition that led to four new Vilifiers. Insults ahoy! I’m already scheduled for their June show, which goes up the 28th and 29th at the Bryant Lake Bowl.

My next show, What Happened To The Dollar?, goes up this week, also at the Bryant Lake Bowl. Cripes almighty, I spend a lot of time at the Bryant Lake Bowl these days. I’m playing the Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank, which in a weird way is kind of a dream role. It’s hard to explain briefly. There’s a lot of things about the part I can geek out about. It’s not often you get a part that lends itself to actor geeking. Dollar? is a production of Box Wine Theatre, and that goes up May 12th through May 26th, Thursdays and Sundays at 7 PM.

And after a long and snowy April, my squills finally bloomed. They were planted aeons ago, and have spread all over my yard. Half my yard is blue. The other half is full of wild onion, but we don’t talk about that half. It’s not spring until the squills bloom.

Let’s not mention the acre and a half of writing I’ve not done. Oh shit, I mentioned it. C’est la vie.

So anyway: theater, lots. Day job, stupefying. Yard, flowery. Bed, now.

Unironic

Zzzzzzzz… *snort* Whuh?! Whazzat? Oh, right. My blog.

It’s been kind of a whirlwind. Right when my spring got planned within an inch of its life, I got sick. Nothing serious, just a head cold whose primary symptoms were grumpiness and lethargy. But as a result, I did nothing for a couple of weeks except replay Mass Effect, this time with a Femshep and with more Renegade options. I could devote a plethora of posts to Mass Effect, but I’m not up for that now. It’s really crazy how I always get sick at the end of February. I guess it’s my equivalent of hibernation, some cyclical thing my body insists I do.

Hardcover Theater’s production of Pollyanna opens tomorrow. I’m still a little amazed I’m in this. Admittedly, it’s not an entertainment I would seek out on my own, but acting in it has been great fun. The challenge of taking one of literature’s most notoriously sappy and syrupy efforts, and presenting it as honestly and sincerely as possible, is one of those things that excites the actor in me. Hard to explain. It’s actually sort of radical, in a perverse way. Hardcover’s marketing is billing this as “a defiantly unironic production,” and in today’s artistic climate, that’s almost avant-garde. Suck it, hipsters!

(Bonus: if you scroll down a bit in that Hardcover link, you get to see me in old lady drag. You know you want to.)

And while preparing for Pollyanna, I’ve been writing material for The Vilification Games, the Vilification Tennis amateur show. So I’ve been working on two of the most polar opposite shows conceivable simultaneously. Somehow, my brain has handled the dichotomy without undue stress. Beer helps. I had been ambivalent about trying out for Vil for years, but now that I’ve committed, I really want to nail this. Maybe I’m more goal-oriented than I previously thought.

In things non-theatrical (yes, I do have an outside life, constrained though it may be), I will be working at Target as a temp, for about three months. Starting Monday. This brings my long, messy divorce with my current employer to a final, anti-climactic end. Looking forward to starting anew, and to a shorter commute, but also a little sad. The people at Globe University were good to me. The company a bit less so, but I’m not relishing walking away from the people. I hope the Target people are half as nice.

Otherwise… I don’t know. Just tired. Tired tired tired. And spending a heck of a lot of time at the Bryant Lake Bowl. I wonder if the Bryant Lake Bowl will let me set up a cot in their basement?

Long Time, No Blog

Jeepers. It’s been a while. Why the long digital silence? Uh… stuff. Yeah. Stuff.

Without going into gory details, I got rehired by my place of work as a temp, to do the exact same job from which they laid me off. See, they laid me off right before the busiest time of year for my job. The temp agency called them up for a reference, and they said (paraphrased) “um, er, ah, could we get Kelvin back for a while? We’re kind of screwed.” So that happened.

Then the backlog got cleared up, and the incoming work slowed down to a trickle, and now I’m working part time. And looking for a real job. Resumes were posted online and whatnot. You know who loves me? Guys from India who want me to start my own insurance agent franchise. That seems an oddly specific type for me to attract, but whatever je ne sais quoi I’m projecting there, I’m seriously working it.

As weird as this whole situation has been, it has paradoxically left me pretty well off. The lay off severance, the paid out vacation, overtime temp work, and the lack of benefit deductions have made me as cash-on-hand rich as I’ve ever been. Of course, I can’t spend any of it on anything cool. It’s dwindling away on such luxuries as food and heat, possibly for several months, but it’s nice to know I’m not in any immediate emergency.

So… yeah. Overtime work, worries about Christmas, Thanksgiving, and employment, plus the occasional non-noteworthy crappy movie have left me without much bloggable material. And there you go.

One thing to note: my remount of Someone Is Wrong On The Internet is a go! Contracts have been signed and shit. A co-production with Shadow Horse Productions, it’ll go up at the Bryant-Lake Bowl on February 1st and 2nd, at 7:00. If you missed it at the Minnesota Fringe Festival, you’ve got another shot. Ticket discount with a Fringe Festival button available! Now to re-memorize the bastard, mull over adding a couple extra bits, etc.

Oh! And the swede of Die Hard I starred in finally got edited together. Man, that was a fun day. Featuring C. Robert Cargill (screenwriter of the recent horror hit Sinister) in a supporting role, plus Joseph Scrimshaw and plenty of other local notables. And some doofus named Jeremy Messersmith provided the music. I guess he’s popular or something. Go ahead and see why I should never, ever be allowed to wear a wifebeater!